On Being Married to a Strong Woman


Yes that describes my wife for sure.

I hate to say the reason I probably like strong women is because my mother was the strongest person I have known in my life. My father had a low threshold for pain -emotional and physical, so when my mother had to go to the hospital I’m the one who stayed with her. When a big iron steam pipe burst in the basement of the house my father said, “I’m outta here, bye.” We fixed the problem. But he was a sensitive person in many ways and I think I inherit, if that’s possible, his sensitivity.

There was the time when my mother said she enjoys cooking but you men are going to cook at least once a week and she’s not compromising. My father decided to just send out for pizza; I decided to ask for her hardest recipe, which started a cooking hobby lasting till now.

I could go on and on but the story which says more about my mother was when I was dying in the womb and the doctor was for aborting, as was my father, but my mother said no. Long story short she had to have a caesarean without anesthesia to deliver me.

So I brought my fiancée to stay for the weekend with my parents on a hot summer weekend in July, long ago. On preparing to leave she shouts from the upstairs bedroom, “Get up here and pack your suitcase,” and continuing,”I’m not your maid; do I look like a maid.” (Over our marriage she has packed suitcases, but she wanted it known from the start, what she does is because she chooses to do it.) I still remember saying to myself, “wow, just like my mother.”

I met her a a party I was invited to because my friend said, “You’ll like her because she’s just like you (not sure what that meant).” I saw her at the tv watching a boxing match, watching her duplicate the movements of the boxers, wondering who is this women who likes boxing so much, fearing a future where I might get punched out as I did from a former strong willed girlfriend. My fears were allayed when she told me she hated boxing. She described it was setup to rule out a boyfriend who liked sports too much. I passed the first test.

Now let me describe the second test. Unknown to me she had called a friend, a big shot on the top floor of an office building in New York City. She deemed him a snake, a user of woman, being a womanizer and having a woman in every country he did business with. In her mind who better to determine if I was a snake, in her mind it takes one to know one. So she said she was taking me out to dinner, but first we were going to meet an old friend of hers. Well I passed what I call now the “snake test.” Apparently they talked that night and he said I wasn’t a snake.